| | But barely. So much has happened this month that I don't even really know where to begin. Just more reasons of why I despise winter. It seems as if everything bad happens in the wintertime. I get into such a sad mood almost on the verge of being depressed. Especially in the last week...
I am not going to get into what is going on with mom not only to respect her wishes to keep it private but because I just really don't like to think about it. However, when I received the news, the first person I called was Lane. She didn't even think twice about driving down here to be a crying shoulder. Thankfully, when she got here it helped keep me stronger instead of being in hysterics like I had been earlier. We ended up reading some of my Cosmo magazines, eating cupcakes, and watching Harry Potter V. It may not seem like she did much while she was here but she kept me from crying myself to sleep. that in itself meant more to me than anything. The next morning, I tried to go to school ( I had already emailed the staff because I know that prayer is a way to heal. Don't believe it? Look at my brother, he is a miracle) but as soon as I spent some time alone, I couldn't control myself any longer. I tried to speed past the secretary and go to class but as soon as Sara saw me she ran in and gave me a hug and simply said, " Go home to your mom." That was enough to send me back to the apartment and get packed for Paducah.
Mom had planned a Valentine's Day dinner for her resident so when I got home, I realized she wasn't even there. Instead, I went to her work (she works with Alzheimer patients) to help her set up tables and keep the peace with the residents. Dad came too after his work got out. I don't think I have ever seen dad's eyes that red and puffy in my life. Anyway, dad and I were the "waiters" for the residents and their families so we stayed in good spirits while we served them. One of the ladies kept telling me how beautiful I am, which was ironic to me considering how awful I looked after a solid 24 hours of crying but whatever. After a couple of hours, the dinner was coming to an end so we were ready to head on home.
The next morning, I joined my parents in driving to Vanderbilt to see if they could tell us anything we didn't already know. After several hours of going from room to room, the details are still extremely vague which to me is very unsettling. If you are close to me and are interested in the details just ask and I will give you a call and tell you or something.
I can not even express how hard it is to be living somewhere you hate when everything you love isn't close enough. As good as the staff and faculty have been to me with all that is going on, I can't not live in a place I don't consider home any longer. I am going to do everything that I can to get a job close to my family and friends. Though I may seem energetic and full of personality on the weekends, I am creeping closer to depression due to the weekdays. The loneliness of Hopkinsville is getting the best of me.
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| | Posted 2/23/2009 8:09 PM - 24 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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